A Peace of our Own

Over the last few weeks, equality has taken off into a sprint. Amongst the gays being blamed for Ebola, paper cuts, the common cold, and the decline of straight marriage, (I made up the middle two) many people, who may have previously held other opinions, have started to see the value of equality along with the illogical-ness of inequality. They’ve evolved, to use a common phrase. This is beautiful to me. In this sense, evolving means that you have invested time in thinking through aspects of a certain topic and have come to a conclusion different from the one previously held because of new information or insight. This is the exact mindset that I believe will lead us to a more peaceful society. And although the voices of the naysayers are often blaring, their numbers are minuscule and shrinking.

I have evolved, gratefully so. Many of my family members and friends have evolved as well. This makes me happy. We all grew up being fed the same [mis]information, but most of us have succeeded in thinking through things life with logical, compassion, and honesty. These are three key ingredients, I believe. The nature of my journey was one that led me out of religion before I was ever able to acknowledge that I was gay, (these two journeys were related, but not dependent upon one another) but many others have clung to their faith while coming out; at times, it has been their greatest comfort, but yet, sadly, their condemner. I hold a sincere compassion for these who have stayed within their faiths, their resilience is commendable. Thankfully, many, many people of faiths are evolving. A great deal of this evolution has been spurred on from the realization that someone they love is, in fact, gay. This has been the big bang in many evolutions including mine.

It is much easier to condemn what you do not first love. It must be easy to say, I will raise my child “right” and they will not “become” gay, but it is a completely different journey to shed tears over that child you love, as you watch them being torn apart inside by self-condemnation, as they try to rid themselves of this supposed evil to no avail. It saddens me to see family members choose their man-interpreted beliefs over that precious son, daughter, brother, or sister, but it happens. What a shame.

Today, specifically within the Christian faith, there are voices rising up to guide the way towards logic, compassion, and honesty concerning the issue of homosexuality. (Although I am speaking specifically on this issue, this process of evolution can be used for most of today’s dividing topics.) I will link to them below because I see this as extremely important. It is time to put this issue to rest. Having lived most of my life as a devoted follower of Christ, ministers’ kid and, later, minister, I am all too familiar with the teachings that are there, but I am also familiar with the harm many of these teachings are still doing. Far too many Christians, straight or gay, out or closeted, live their lives in the grips of self-condemnation. As I mentioned earlier it is time to evolve towards peace. Peace is achieved not through religion, but through allowing each other the freedom to search out this peace through their own journey. The my-religion-is-the-absolute-truth mentality can be seen in the backdrop of many of today’s un-peaceful situations throughout our world.

The day I looked inward and realized the restlessness within my own soul, was a day that filled me with compassion for others. Seeing my judgmental heart towards others’ journey (disguised with religious jargon) broke part of the hold that religion had held upon me. This journey inward frightened me at first, but yet led me to a depth of happiness I had not known. I want peace for myself and for you as an individual. I want peace for our nations and peoples in turmoil and for this earth itself. It is time we stop dictating others’ journey towards peace and start living our own path of peace. Only then, do I believe we will find the collective peace we all seek. 

Give these some thought:

John Shore

Kathy Baldock--Canyon Walker Connection

Matthew Vines--The Gay Debate

Peace to you. 

Come Thou Fount

Sunday mornings are simply beautiful. I wake up late, I try to cook up a spectacular breakfast, we drink a peaceful cup of coffee, catch up on the news, and we just take....our....time. Our tiny space in New York is situated within a short walk to several churches; throughout the morning we are serenaded by church bells. More often than not, they are hymns that I have known and still believe to be beautiful pieces of music.  Yesterday was no exception; Come Thou Fount filled the neighborhood and I was taken back to my fondness of this particular hymn and the emotions it once stirred within.

During my last few years of ministry, many of these hymns received a modernization, if you will, by many of the popular worship leaders/musicians of that time. Come Thou Fount  received a most beautiful "upgrade" by David Crowder Band. (beautiful in my humble opinion) We played it often on Sunday mornings. Here is a section of the lyrics: (emphasis is mine)

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

Mount of Thy redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it;

Seal it for Thy courts above.

Yesterday, as this tune echoed throughout the neighborhood, I remembered how passionately I once sang this song. In Leaving God; Finding Me, I describe my struggle with doubt--my wandering heart, as it were--and I recalled the desperation within as I sang these lines above. I desired to be fixed. It was a bit of a frantic prayer to a God that I wasn't sure existed. I was convinced that the doubt I carried was some fault of mine. I'd done something wrong. Somewhere along the way I'd missed a key ingredient in my experience, and I just needed to figure out what I was missing in order to stop the constant stream of doubt. Lucky for me, that day never came. 

The Sunday morning church bells remind me just how much my life has changed in ten years. They remind me of the profound peace I now enjoy; they remind me of how happy I am to be honestly and fully me without the constant doubts and striving. My journey towards peace led me out of religion, but others have found their peace while staying in their religion. The important part of this thing called life is this honesty within one's own soul that allows for each journey to be experienced with an air of acceptance and understanding. When we allow each other the room to breath and walk the path within our hearts, we become stronger as a whole.