Holiday Difficulties

The holidays are often quite difficult for some LGBT individuals, many of them young, who are distanced from their families.  Although they long to be with these families, the ridicule and judgments make this difficult, miserable, or even impossible. Recently, I wrote the following poem as I pondered some of these stories. To those who are hurting I say: My heart is with you this season; please know that you are not alone. I hope that one day you will be accepted by your family and celebrated for the unique individual you are. Don’t give up; keep up your journey. Love yourself; recognize that they hurt you because they simply don’t understand yet. This is not to justify their actions, there is no justification for such, but it is to let you know that we stand with you. We are cheering you on! May you find your happiness and peace; if you need help, reach out. We will not have all the answers, but we will listen. 

Your Game

The blow you deal strikes hard

Within the deepest point of my soul;

Not a physical blow, but to some, yes,

A blow of pain, scorn, and rejection.

You even mock my reaction to this blow

As if I should feel no pain, offense.

Yet you cry out in the dark of night

As your toe meets the corner of the bed.

Child’s play, comparatively.

Your blow leaves wounds, scars.

No bandage conceals it, no medicine heals it

I taste the pain in each slow breath.

My absence labeled selfish

Yet your contempt is the true culprit.

I would not choose detachment

Home is where I belong.

To pretend I am not me

Is to erase my existence;

I will rise—I will be me

I will not play your game.

Holidays are Here; Roll that Feeling of Magic

I love the holidays; to me personally, they've never really been centered on a religious theme, although I know that's the main gist of Christmas in this country. It has always seemed that the feeling of togetherness hangs a little thicker in the air at this time of year. It's this magical feeling, this collective energy, that makes strangers talk to each other a little more often, acts of kindness a little more frequent, and happy moments seem just a little bit longer than usual. (Yes, I am choosing to completely ignore the Black Friday plague that we've all just lived through--because nothing says magical feeling like trampling people for cheap-ass TVs and clothing, built by practical slave labor on foreign soils. End rant.)

This year, I feel like we could use a little more of this magical feeling than normal, that collective energy is running a bit low; we're not doing so hot in this country right now with the whole togetherness thing, are we? We're divided on so many issues, and that just simply makes me sad. Although we tout with pride that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness," our American way of life doesn't hold up to this profession.

Apparently it isn't as self-evident or unalienable as we'd like to think. We still have a race problem; the ones you hear denying this fact are, for the most part, white, and ironically and single-handedly reinforcing the fact they are so adamantly denying. (For the record, if you begin a sentence with "I'm not racist, but...." you might consider taking a moment or ten of self-reflection on what you are about to say.) LGBT are still not allowed the pursuit of their happiness in many places because of false teachings, misunderstandings, and fear. (It is time we put many of these worn-out objections to rest) Our nation still teeters on the fence concerning issues of religion; we can either be a nation that hold the freedom of and from religion paramount, or we can be a theocracy--but we cannot be both. We must decide.

We still hold great potential as a nation, there is a diversity here that I simply adore. This diversity can be a strength to all of us, but lately, it has been a point of weakness as discriminations, prejudices, and hypocrisies fly in every direction. The choice is ours--it is an individual choice that starts within our daily lives; this magical season is as good as any to start making choices of unity, peace, and togetherness, with justice and liberty for all. One, two, three, go.

The Day I Saw the KKK

When I was young, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car looking out the window as we drove home from church. As pop drove up to the stoplight by the court square, I recall seeing the men dressed in white cloaks and pointy white hats. There were several other members standing on the corners, and one came towards our green station wagon. I think they must have been collecting money or something; as far as I recall, pop didn’t roll down the window, but kept looking straight ahead. I was scared; me, a little white girl in rural Tennessee, was scared.

(I remember being quite small when this event occurred, but my mom said I would have been in the seventh grade. She also said I could be remembering a time when I was small as well; sadly, it happened more than once.)

I was born and raised in the south. I’ve not always been comfortable telling people this fact. I grew up in a small town in West Tennessee, and I saw blatant discriminations on display regularly. I grew up hearing about "The War of Northern Aggression," (known as The Civil War to most) and I am very familiar with the bumper sticker that states "The South Will Rise Again." I am more grateful than ever before to have been born to parents who loved all--no matter what color, ethnicity, or background--but the same was not always true for the culture in which I was raised. One smaller town close by even boasted that the last colored person who had dared to set foot in that town was taught a lesson.

Blacks and whites, for the most part, lived separately. Many of the black residents of our town lived in black bottom, (yes, it was really called that) and whites didn’t go there often. The races married within their kind (again, that’s how it was stated) for the children’s sake, supposedly; white women who married black men were looked down upon. I remember visiting a black church on their side of town on a few occasions; our white church had joined with a black church in an attempt to overcome the religious/racial segregation that still stood firm. 

Quite by ironic accident, I watched 12 Years a Slave and Freedom Riders (A Documentary on the Civil Rights Era) on the day of the Ferguson grand jury decision. I watched as protests erupted, even here in New York, and opinions spread like wildfire. It is somewhat disturbing that I hear some of the exact phrases used in modern events as in the historical films I watched. Do we really not learn? Whether or not you believe there was a gross injustice served in Ferguson, Missouri in this decision, we cannot keep pretending we don’t have problems in this area of race. I grew up in the midst of racism; I know what it looks like.

Chris Rock said it quite well in a recent interview: “we treat racism in this country like it’s a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You’ve got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it’s immune to and what breaks it down.”

I’ve been more than a bit troubled as this recent news in our country unfolds. I sincerely struggle to wrap my mind around all that is going on, and I find myself wrestling with how to respond. I even find that I am having trouble writing this blog, because I’m frustrated by our lack of collective compassion, I’m feeling helpless and a bit hopeless that we’ll see our way through this, and if I’m going to be honest, I’m angry—angry that some vocal whites still have a superiority complex in this country and many have been acting like asses. I even find it hard to chant my mantra of “we’re better than this,” because our history does not necessarily back me up on this stance. So I find myself modifying this mantra lately: I still believe we can be better than this.

It is a time for self-reflection and voices joined together for peace. I believe the voices that desire peace are more numerous than those divisive voices, from all viewpoints that spread violence and spew hate, but perhaps, it is time to raise our voices of peace and togetherness to a new volume. 

Poem of Peace

For quite some time now, I've been reading and pondering the notion of peace and peace movements in the midst of war times. Pockets of turmoil can be found in virtually every country; the vast majority of us, from all backgrounds and cultures, desire peace, yet, at times, it seems so far beyond our grasp. Why do we so quickly resort to violence and war? Why does war sell so much easier than peace? It seems absurd to think that more violence will stop the existing violence. (although I haven't always seen the world in this light)

Yesterday morning, I awoke with peace on the brain once again. I quickly penned this before leaving for work. I'll share it with you, as it is my hope for today, for our country, and for the all the peoples with which we share this globe. We are in this together, lest we forget.

The elusive dream written upon each soul

As the first breath is drawn—

Void of fear, hunger, lack

Knowing love at morning’s dawn—

Contentment rests on every mother’s face

Her child sleeps nourished—

A father’s embrace of his daughter

She walks to school cherished—

A village celebration

Welcoming spring rain—

Two men in love

Down the avenue without shame—

No shadows of despair

No neglected, forgotten—

No slave, no master

No broken, downtrodden—

Peace.

In the hearts of all

As this colossal seed—

Torn from our midst

By power, hate, and greed.

Peace to you today.

My Mountain

Along I-90 towards Seattle, I drove in anticipation of my first glimpse of, what I would call later MY Mountain, Mt. Rainier. My roommate, with me on this trip, had made the trip from Spokane to Seattle many times before; she had prepared me, the best she could, for the sight I was about to behold. Just as my introduction to the ocean, no words could truly prepare me for such a reality-shifting sight. As we topped the final hill, still miles away from Seattle, she said, “there it is.”

As I strained to adjust to the vast openness, for a brief, but long, second, I thought, “there WHAT is?” As my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see only clouds, shapes, sky, blue….and then! And then, as my brain processed the vast amount of information my eyes were sending, I. Suddenly. Saw. Those clouds, and shapes, and blues, and sky, slowly pieced together, and I discovered that those clouds, shapes, blues, and sky were, in fact, an enormous mountain, quite literally beyond my belief. I was silent. Only silent.

Having grown up in the south, and only being exposed to the Smoky Mountains that rest on the border of Tennessee and North Carolina, my mind and senses were simply unprepared for the possibility of a mountain of this magnitude. What rose before me was outside the scope of my vision. Although it was as real and visible as anything could be, it was “hidden” from me for those first few seconds, because it was totally and utterly outside the realm of possibility for me. My brain had never had to process information of this nature, so therefore, I simply couldn’t “see” it.

I love mountains. Just like oceans, I love how small they make me feel in the scheme of this life. I have never forgotten the feeling of the above experience. As my eyes adjusted to the majesty of that mountain, my reality changed. Within the first two seconds, I was convinced there was no mountain there; in the next two seconds I was equally convinced of the mountain’s presence. Were I able to slow down time, I would have voiced these doubts. My mind was puzzled. By her statement, my roommate could obviously see the mountain, but why couldn’t I? Or had she gone crazy and there was truly no mountain visible? As the shift in my reality happened, I, too, saw a most magnificent sight. A sight that has stayed with me all these years.

In many ways, my life has replicated this experience. I have lived a happy life, even in the midst of church, religion and god, my life was full of nice sceneries such as the clouds, sky, and blue above. On a scale of 1 to 10, I believe I would have ranked myself a 9 in the happiness scale. It is only when this scale began to shift did a new realm of happiness and contentment become a possibility. A new reality opened up to me. Now I feel my happiness and contentment far exceed any scale I could fathom.

Just as I find it hard to describe my Mt. Rainier experience, I find it difficult to wrap words around the paradigm shift that has occurred over the last twelve years of my life. My brain has been busy processing the new information being sent by my soul, and just as the awe sunk in as my eyes focused upon my Mountain, the daily wonder of my life brings about a new level of gratitude and speechless amazement; I once again feel small.

Allow me to introduce my wife

Many of my friends and family have not had the honor of spending vast amounts of time with my wife. A small few have chosen this because of their awkward judgment of our lifestyle (yes, that is sarcasm you hear), but most are simply at the mercy of the miles between us. Some of you read her blogs and experience her heart through her writings, but for those of you have not had the privilege, 

allow me to introduce her to you now.

Today, my wife has been asked to participate in a commemoration event honoring Holocaust survivors who endured Kristallnacht. For those unfamiliar with the term, Kristallnacht, also called the Night of Broken Glass, it was a series of attacks upon the Jews of Germany and Austria in November 1938. To be a part of such commemoration is an honor that many would cherish, but to M- it holds a much deeper meaning. I’ll use her words here, with her permission, of course.

Some forty years after the events of Kristallnacht, I was born under the bombs of a vicious war and then raised in a society that believed all Jews must be killed; I was told that there once were Jews in my home country, (Iraq) but I was never told the whole story, actually, I learned no stories. It wasn’t until I was exposed to the Western world that I learned about my own history—a history that saddens me. I learned that in my home country, Jews were estranged, attacked, and forced out of their homes into exile.

While walking between home and school last semester, I realized that I was smiling when I would meet a Jew on the street. A few days later, I realized that I was not necessarily smiling because I had seen a Jew, but because I was able to see a Jew and feel no anger, no hatred. On this same usual walk, I would see Jewish fathers and grandfather kissing and carrying their children after school, and I missed my father. Then I would think: How many more families have to suffer from hate? How many more children will lose their parents as a result of hate? How long will it take for us to awaken?

We come from different worlds. Baghdad, Iraq….Paris, Tennessee. Let me put this in perspective. Do you remember the night of “shock and awe” after the events of 9/11? Do you remember where you were as you watched the bombs exploding upon Baghdad? I certainly do. I watched with an overabundance of mixed emotions. I had no way of knowing that the wife that now makes my very soul dance was sitting beneath those same explosions that filled my television screen fearing for her life and the life of her family. The realization of this has served as a constant reminder to me: no matter what the feeling on one side of a choice, action, or experience, there is always someone on the other side of that choice with their own experience, fears, hopes, and feelings.

To know M- is to have experienced something refreshing. To put it simply, her heart is for humanity.  Months before we were together, she was already challenging my mindset and encouraging a self-examination that I had previously not known. In short, she makes me a better person, not in a cliché sort of way, but in such a way that makes me honestly investigate my place in this world. Yes, I am biased, happily so, but I also see her spread her contagious zest for life through others who are lucky enough to know her.

She is passionate, kind, intense, comical, fascinating, and incredibly humble; she’ll, no doubt, tell me that I give her too much credit when she reads this*. She will end her presentation with these words: 

I could have have foreseen this journey that I walk today, but as we stand here together in commemoration of those who have suffered, and of those we have lost as a result of hate, know that I am committed to this journey of peace. Your well of life, your determination, your resilience, and your pride of heritage beckon us towards hope and strengthen us to see the way of peace.

I am grateful and incredibly lucky to walk this journey called life with such a soul. May we all be strengthened to see the way of peace. 

*and that is exactly what she did.

Historical Ponderings

While reading through one of the wifey's history textbooks, yes, I am a nerd, I found a most interesting document by the Iroquois' Chief Red Jacket. (Seriously, I love the name.)

"Brother; You say there is but one way to worship and serve the Great Spirit. If there is but one religion; why do you white people differ so much about it? Why not all agreed, as you can all read the book?...We are told that your religion was given to your forefathers, and has been handed down from father to son. We also have a religion, which was given to our forefathers, and has been handed down to us their children. We worship in that way. It teaches us to be thankful for all the favors we receive; to love each other, and to be united. We never quarrel about religion....Brother; we do not wish to destroy your religion or take it from you. We only want to enjoy our own."

We are all familiar with the wrongs done against the American natives often in the name of religion,  one of the many stains in our history, unfortunately. The atrocities done in the namesake of religion are still alive and well today, sadly so. I am appalled at recent beheadings and slaughters, but even a quick read of history finds events such as these ongoing and somewhat constant throughout. While reading through another history book, Bartolome De Las Casas' A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies, I found my, otherwise strong, stomach actually turning at the horrific suffering done, at the hands of Christians, to the peoples of Latin America.

"It is my considered opinion that the greatest obstacle that stands in the way of the pacification of the New World, and with it the conversion of the people to Christ, is the harshness and cruelty of the treatment metered out by 'Christians' to those who surrender. This has been so harsh and so brutal that nothing is more odious nor more terrifying to the people than the name 'Christian', a word for which they us in their language the term yares, which means 'demon'. 

The questions I find myself pondering are these: why does so much violence, hatred, harm, and sheer evil persist in the domain of that which is taught as/and meant to be peaceful, loving, kind?  Does the basis of absolute truth breed such vileness? Is it just the nature of some--personal choices to do evil--masked by a religious front; would these do harm no matter what label they wore?

Abraham Lincoln, in his second inaugural address, speaking of the North and South said, "Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other..." Being a lover of history, I ponder events such as our Civil War, and even evils such as slavery, and I find more questions than answers. On both sides, as is often the case, one can find religious backings of the justness of their cause. Why do religions seem to play such a drastic role in the making of historical wickedness? Is this a reasonable question or is it a stretch to imply this?

I will never suggest that all people who confess a devotion to a certain belief system are evil, harmful, or vile. This is simply not true or rational. I am grateful to know many peace-loving Muslims, Christians, Jews, Atheists, and the like, who are passionately devoted to a more peaceful world. Even amongst today's evils, I know that peace is possible. I believe it is the result of an inward journey, past religious beliefs and personal differences; as we experience a deeper connection with each other, peace will flourish.

A fellow seeker

I thought to share a quick post to introduce a blog I've recently come across: Leaving Your Religion 

The Autor, Jim Mulholland, was a United Methodist and Quaker pastor for twenty years. He has this to say:

“When I left my religious home, I didn’t know what to expect.  It wasn’t always easy.  There was sadness and pain.  There were also many pleasant surprises.  Eventually, what felt like wandering into the wilderness became a wonderful adventure.”

Many times, I find myself reading his description of a certain feeling or thought and thinking, "Exactly!" Give it a read and let me know what you think. 

Enjoy your journey wherever it may lead. Peace to you.

Yet it is Still Me

Yet it is Still Me

Those same little hands that got into everything

Are still curious about the world around them.

That innocent smile that worked its way out of trouble

Is even more intense today.

The laughter that exploded with every tickle

Runs more deeply because of pure happiness.

It is still me.

My future that you saw while tucking me in

Was not the path laid out for me.

Husband, wife, children to follow

Happiness seldom arrives in a predefined box.

Although I try to make you proud

I learned that I must make myself proud first.

Yet it is still me.

You wished me happy and kind in life

I awake with a smile on my face.

You prayed for peace and joy

I sleep like a child in a mother’s embrace.

You hoped for a long and prosperous life

My soul lives each day in wonder.

It is still me.

Kristin Casey 2014

--to parents who struggle with their child's coming out. Peace.

--dedicated to my parents who shower my wife with love.

A Peace of our Own

Over the last few weeks, equality has taken off into a sprint. Amongst the gays being blamed for Ebola, paper cuts, the common cold, and the decline of straight marriage, (I made up the middle two) many people, who may have previously held other opinions, have started to see the value of equality along with the illogical-ness of inequality. They’ve evolved, to use a common phrase. This is beautiful to me. In this sense, evolving means that you have invested time in thinking through aspects of a certain topic and have come to a conclusion different from the one previously held because of new information or insight. This is the exact mindset that I believe will lead us to a more peaceful society. And although the voices of the naysayers are often blaring, their numbers are minuscule and shrinking.

I have evolved, gratefully so. Many of my family members and friends have evolved as well. This makes me happy. We all grew up being fed the same [mis]information, but most of us have succeeded in thinking through things life with logical, compassion, and honesty. These are three key ingredients, I believe. The nature of my journey was one that led me out of religion before I was ever able to acknowledge that I was gay, (these two journeys were related, but not dependent upon one another) but many others have clung to their faith while coming out; at times, it has been their greatest comfort, but yet, sadly, their condemner. I hold a sincere compassion for these who have stayed within their faiths, their resilience is commendable. Thankfully, many, many people of faiths are evolving. A great deal of this evolution has been spurred on from the realization that someone they love is, in fact, gay. This has been the big bang in many evolutions including mine.

It is much easier to condemn what you do not first love. It must be easy to say, I will raise my child “right” and they will not “become” gay, but it is a completely different journey to shed tears over that child you love, as you watch them being torn apart inside by self-condemnation, as they try to rid themselves of this supposed evil to no avail. It saddens me to see family members choose their man-interpreted beliefs over that precious son, daughter, brother, or sister, but it happens. What a shame.

Today, specifically within the Christian faith, there are voices rising up to guide the way towards logic, compassion, and honesty concerning the issue of homosexuality. (Although I am speaking specifically on this issue, this process of evolution can be used for most of today’s dividing topics.) I will link to them below because I see this as extremely important. It is time to put this issue to rest. Having lived most of my life as a devoted follower of Christ, ministers’ kid and, later, minister, I am all too familiar with the teachings that are there, but I am also familiar with the harm many of these teachings are still doing. Far too many Christians, straight or gay, out or closeted, live their lives in the grips of self-condemnation. As I mentioned earlier it is time to evolve towards peace. Peace is achieved not through religion, but through allowing each other the freedom to search out this peace through their own journey. The my-religion-is-the-absolute-truth mentality can be seen in the backdrop of many of today’s un-peaceful situations throughout our world.

The day I looked inward and realized the restlessness within my own soul, was a day that filled me with compassion for others. Seeing my judgmental heart towards others’ journey (disguised with religious jargon) broke part of the hold that religion had held upon me. This journey inward frightened me at first, but yet led me to a depth of happiness I had not known. I want peace for myself and for you as an individual. I want peace for our nations and peoples in turmoil and for this earth itself. It is time we stop dictating others’ journey towards peace and start living our own path of peace. Only then, do I believe we will find the collective peace we all seek. 

Give these some thought:

John Shore

Kathy Baldock--Canyon Walker Connection

Matthew Vines--The Gay Debate

Peace to you. 

No Christians Were Harmed...

Forgive my absence. I have been in training for a new (and wonderful) job that has occupied my brain for the last few weeks. I've made my wife suffer through the daily recap of my trainings, so I'll spare you the pain. 

What a week this has been though. Two years ago, before we married, we were discussing marriage equality over dinner. Being much more optimistic, my wife had said we'd see equality in Kentucky in just a few years; I disagreed and said it would be at least ten more years. While equality has not yet found its way into Kentucky, at least officially, I believe my wife was much more accurate than me in my pessimistic view. 

Moving to New York and finally having the freedom to marry the soul that made me come alive was such a freeing moment. Equality once again leaped forward this week...and what a leap it was! Beautiful friends in Oklahoma could finally get married. We watched a video as they told their young daughter, and the joy in her eyes was captivating. I can't stop thinking about their beautiful little family and how utterly wrong it was to deny them marriage. I imagine all the wonderful moments they share with their bright, feisty young daughter and how those precious moments will shape her into a loving, compassionate, productive member of society. They were already a family in the truest sense of the word, but now they will have the legal acknowledgement and protection that just might help them sleep a little easier at night. 

Part of my new training was, as expected, a series on discrimination and workplace harassment. The day I realized that I was in such a protected category was an odd feeling. Having never really dealt with any sort of discrimination, except the common gender discrimination within religion, it truly changed my perspective and was quite a moving experience. The training was beautifully done and set in a tone of fairness, respect, and inclusion. It even went a bit further to discuss, in great detail, religious and non-religious discrimination. After one of the sessions, one of my new co-workers said that it is sad that such things have to be taught. He went on to explain that one's own integrity and common courtesy should guide a person towards respecting others' life, choices, and happiness. We agreed that this world would be so much more peaceful, if we focused on living our own lives and finding our own happiness instead of dictating how others should live theirs.

Amongst the bombardment of same-sex-marriage-is-from-satan backlash that followed this past weeks' equality leap, my co-workers' words came back to me. We've got to get past this kind of thinking for our own good. In no shape, form, or fashion, did my friends' new marriage hurt anyone. Period. No Christians were harmed in the making of this marriage. Just fyi, as far as I know, these two beautiful souls are Christians, so chew on that for a while. (And just a little extra food for thought while you're chewing: one of the most astonishing illustrations of this week paralleled the states of the sixties that were against interracial marriage; sadly, it was almost identical to those of today that still defiantly stand so strongly against marriage equality...this needs to be given some serious thought.)

We are all guided by some sort of personal belief and moral compass. What guides you, does not necessarily have to guide me. I try to look at it from a common good standpoint, and when my personal belief starts slapping you in the face, or worse...causing harm, I have crossed the line. (Social issues take on a particularly harmful tone when they become underpinned with religious beliefs.) We can do this, you know? We can learn to live peaceable with each other, but we must first remember to respect others' beliefs and way of life as we respect our own. Or as someone else one said, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matt. 7:12)

And with that, I leave you these beautiful numbers. Peace to you.
(freedomtomarry.org)

In 30 states - AK, CA, CO, CT, DE, HI, ID, IA, IL, IN, ME, MD, MA, MN, NC, NH, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OK, OR, PA, RI, UT, VA, VT, WA, WV and WI, plus Washington, D.C. - same-sex couples have the freedom to marry. 

In an additional five states - AZ, KS, MT, SC, and WY - federal appellate rulings have set a binding precedent in favor of the freedom to marry, meaning the path is cleared for the freedom to marry there.

In an additional 8 states, judges have issued rulings in favor of the freedom to marry, with many of these rulings now stayed as they proceed to appellate courts: In AR, FL, KY, MI, and TX, judges have struck down marriage bans, and in LA, OH and TN, judges have issued more limited pro-marriage rulings.

In MO, the marriages of same-sex couples legally performed in other states are respected. 

Ten Years of Change

A life chapter ended on Thursday.  Since 2004, I’ve worked for the Bux, minus a brief break while working with my sister. Now I'll be moving on.

I stopped to think of my life ten years ago. Wow. I had just left the ministry and my head was still reeling from all that had gone on and gone wrong. As Buddhists say, the ground had been pulled out from under me. Bewildered would be an appropriate word. I felt like a failure. I’d just been let go from what I had thought was my life’s calling. I had no idea where to go from here; I had no idea who I was.  Everything I thought was real and lasting was suddenly called into question. Many whom I loved dearly and trusted with my life had chosen popularity over me. I took that personally; sometimes it hurt to breathe.

Ten years can hold a great deal of change. As time has healed wounds, I can be nothing but grateful for this unexpected and drastic turn of events.

Grateful for landing flat on my back, although I didn’t feel that way at the time; the jar shook me to the very core and opened my eyes. Instead of seeing stars, I saw my disillusionment. I saw that I was trying so desperately to make myself believe what I wanted so hard to believe in. I didn’t know where I was going from here, but I would investigate life and question easy answers from here on out. I made that promise to myself. What beautiful things I’ve discovered about myself and the world around me since then.

Grateful to a kindhearted Bux manager who told me to come work for her. A genuine soul, if ever there has been one; I am still proud to call her friend today. From her example, I learned a lot about being myself, take it or leave it. I also learned an awful lot about confidence. She believed in me, and I had found something I was actually really good at and enjoyed doing. I felt good about this and for the first time, in perhaps forever, I felt I was in an honest place. I still didn’t know where I was headed, but it felt right and good.

I recall a time when a church member from my previous position saw me sweeping the floor one night as we prepared to close. She came up to me and said, “I hate to see you like this. You have so much more to offer.” Besides feeling a bit humiliated, I was angry. Angry because she saw me as a failure. I wanted to scream at her, “I like who I am becoming!” but I think I just said something generic and went on. I did not have the courage for that sort of confrontation yet. I had to learn that success is not defined by what I do or what people think of me. Success is a lifestyle choice of peace and goodness and happiness and laughter. I define my success not you….

Grateful for this life I now lead. I am quite often overwhelmed by the love that fills our tiny space. You may be tired of hearing this by now, but I simply could not have imagined such a beautiful life as the one I now live. As I turn this page, I must remember that this was all made possible by the hard, painful floor of betrayal and confusion I found myself laying upon those ten years ago. 

Peace to you.

Standing FOR Each Other -- International Day of Peace

I've been a bit frustrated lately. Somewhere between…[I had originally typed out several recent events and nationally known people who thrive on exposure even when it’s horrible, but I just couldn't stand to give them one ounce of publicity through this blog, so I scratched it, but the end of the sentence read:] …I lost faith in humanity for a second. You know what I mean, don’t you?

I will strive to focus on the positive, even though my heart grows heavy at times from the overabundance of hate and fear I see in our communities. Anti-Islam ads on buses, anti-Semitic politicians, anti-lgbtq, anti-this, anti-that, anti-whatever-it-is-that-I-have-not-taken-the-time-to-understand, anti-blah, blah, blah. Aren't we tired of anti yet? I am often reminded of Dr. King Jr.’s quote: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” I am just as appalled as anyone at the violence and blatant injustices in many parts of the world (including our own), but countering darkness with our own special brand of darkness does not seem to be working out well. There must be another way. It seems to me, and I say this through my personal experience, it is much easier to be anti-whatever than it is to take the time to understand this world and be the embodiment of love, peace, and light. With that being said, there has been no greater personal peace, than in the purposeful choosing of the latter.

I have not always been so obsessed with peace. For the longest of times, I don't remember even giving it much thought, which is odd since I was a minister and a Christian. I believed [tried hard to convince myself] that the only path of peace was a relationship with Jesus and a life of worship to God. This was the only way for anyone to be truly happy, which is where many of the problems within religions begin. This was the only truth…or so I was taught. As I made my way out of this belief system, and since this belief system was so ingrained in my being, I fully expected to feel less peaceful, less happy, less fulfilled, but the opposite was wonderfully true. It was quite a surprise and shock to me; as time went on, and I ventured into the world that had once seemed so frightening, I stumbled upon a profound peace and a heart of compassion that literally changed my life in every way. I think, perhaps, I just uncovered the peace and compassion that had been lying dormant in my soul for all those years; I was slowly awakening.

Today, September 21, is the International Day of Peace, established to strengthen the idea of peace everywhere and to purposefully promote peace throughout the world’s communities. (Today is also the Baghdad City of Peace Carnival that I spoke of in an earlier post—my heart is cheering them!) Hold peace in your heart. Peace is possible, I firmly believe this to be true, but it takes all of us choosing peace as a daily lifestyle. Let's BE FOR each other and FOR each other's peaceful journey instead of all this negative focus. Perhaps it is indeed the hardest choice, but isn't it worth a try? 

*I don't tear-up easily, but something about this photo moved me to great depths. 

Cities of Peace

I’ve been following a Facebook page called Baghdad City of Peace Carnival. I have also been following the disturbing events of terror over the last few months brought on by extreme extremists. (When Al Qaeda declares you are even too extreme, you must be extremists in the truest sense of the word.) I’ve always been a bit of a news junkie, but lately I find myself keeping a closer eye on these issues. Perhaps it is because I now have family there or because I’m married to a brownie whom I adore, which makes it more personal, but perhaps I’m also finally awakening to the realization that we are truly all in this thing together.

This organization puts together a carnival to celebrate the UN’s World Peace Day (September 21, 2014) Think about that for a moment. In a city that is wreaked with havoc, there is a group of people that put together a day to focus on peace. I have to wonder if the organizers are putting themselves into harm’s way, by boldly organizing this day of peace. You know what that tells me? The world’s people want peace.

We war, and then we war, and then we war some more. Is it doing any good? Although I haven’t always felt this way, I have my doubts. My heart has grown tired of the violence, and I have found myself questioning the violence to combat violence mentality. I see Palestinians who want peace, I see Israelis who want peace; I see Ukrainians, Russians, Americans, Iraqis, French, Turks, even those aggressive Canadians who want peace. (Since I am called Canadian at least once a week, I admittedly took some sarcastic liberties with that joke.)

Who wants the wars? Who schedules the wars? What are the motives behind the wars? What are the real motives behind the wars? Who ends up dying in these bloody wars?

There is a video of Baghdad City of Peace that I’ll post here. The first minute is in Arabic, which is a beautiful language, so just listen. After the speaking, it moves into a song. The faces. Pay attention to the faces. Within this organization, these small faces have role models who are not advocating war and violence, but peace. We owe it to these and all the small faces to be peace.

It is so easy to dwindle the issues of this world down to black and white, right and wrong, us and them, and pick sides as if we’re playing some sort of sport. But this isn’t a sport. Ferguson, Missouri isn’t a game, and Baghdad, Iraq sure as hell isn’t a game. It is people’s lives, their children, their brothers, sisters, mothers we’re talking about and just because we are somewhat removed from the situations doesn't mean we can sit back and do nothing.  As John Stewart says, “You’re tired of hearing about it? Imagine how f*cking exhausting it is living it.”

...and just because I love the international phenomenon of this song: Happy--Baghdad style.

Our Agenda

I heard someone mention "the gay agenda" this week. (I was waiting for the Adam and Steve joke to follow) After I realized that I had not been sucked up into a time machine and whisked back to the 70s, I was amused, but a bit saddened. I found myself wondering if the person who spoke these words actually believed them to be true, or if they were just regurgitating talking points as I had done for so many years. I found myself asking, aren't we past this yet?

Growing up, I heard about the gay agenda, although I admittedly never saw it in action. (I've also never seen a unicorn.) It carried a similar level of fear as the the bubonic plague. Not knowing any better and trying so hard to be straight, I was perplexed by this secret agenda. What were they trying to do? Why were they trying to do it? I find a small amount of amusement in this now. I look at our [beautiful] life, and see how utterly agenda-less and boring it might seem to a random outsider, and I just have to laugh.

When will we learn that equality equals a better society for all of us, not just gays and other minorities? I'll put your mind to rest; there is no gay agenda besides being allowed to live and and love in peace. The only agenda in my life is centered upon loving my wife, being happy and fulfilled, doing a bit of traveling, remembering to buy eggs on my way home from work, and living as a productive member of society as we work towards peace. Our Monday agenda is to get through the week. Our Friday night agenda, providing we can stay awake after our long week, usually includes a glass of wine and a movie or perhaps a game of scrabble; more often than not, we end up crashed out on the couch like the old married couple we seem to be. (I shocked a customer last week by telling them we don't own a television--we just prefer our simple life.)

Our future plans don’t consist of world domination, but of a house with a small balcony, fresh grown herbs, and summers in southern France. This sounds frighteningly similar to many other married couples, no matter what the sexual make-up. Imagine that. And meanwhile, we are totally happy in the center of our somewhat boring, agenda-less life. That is not to say we don’t attend rallies, volunteer at local LGBTQ organizations, and post pointed messages on social media concerning issues that are important to us, but there is no gay agenda to someday rule the world, turn everyone gay, and drag everyone to hell in our own personal hand-basket. (besides, I’m horrible at basket weaving) This is just silly thinking, and we’d all be better off if we could get past these ideas and work together towards peace. 

How is this for an agenda? I want to be able to say I left this place better than I found it. I want fewer people in poverty, I want more children enabled with a solid education and food in their bellies as they drift off to sleep; I want less human trafficking and an end to child pornography, and I want someone whose life doesn’t fit the status quo to be able to live his/her life in a way that brings them peace, happiness and fulfillment. If this sounds like an agenda you can agree with, feel free to jump on my band wagon, there’s always room for more.

I love you, but....

There is a new video that has surfaced showing a young man's conversation with three (I think) of his family members. The young man was apparently wearing a hidden camera of some sort.  It is disturbing, to say the least, and saddening, and sickening. I want to find this young man, hug him tightly, and tell him not to believe that he is a "disgrace," as his father describes him.

Wow. There are so many lgbt sons and daughters who face this type of humiliation and abuse. (For that matter, there are also so many of our sons and daughters around the world that face this type of abuse and this should give us all pause.) If you have the stomach to watch this video, think about the emotional rubbish this young man has had to muddle through on a regular basis. Growing up is a tough act, in my opinion, but add to this the factors that lie behind this video, and it paints a struggle that is beyond words. And this even in a country that boasts a fair amount of tolerance and acceptance (although we have a long way to go); imagine those lgbt youth in countries that still support the death penalty for simply being gay. I cannot. Inexcusable. 

Although I did not come out until I was older, and I have felt the cold shoulders of some who are misguided in their beliefs, I simply cannot imagine feeling this level of rejection from family. Those who are supposed to be there cheering you on in your life, but who suddenly turn on you like a pack of wild dogs. (kind of literally in the case of this video!) Cold shoulders and noses turned up in judgement are nothing compared to the violence and viciousness that face many, far too many, lgbt youth.

Long before I came out, and quite separate from the inner struggle I faced with my own fear of not being straight, a young man once told me that he'd tried everything he could think of to make himself not gay. Coming out, was a last resort, in the truest sense of the word, in an effort to find some sort of peace in his life. He faced hell, humiliation, and rejection. It is this incident that began my investigation of what I'd been taught about homosexuality. (My second stepping stone, as I describe in the book) The turmoil and desperation I saw within these young eyes has stayed with me even to this day. It spurred one simple question that needed an answer. Why would anyone choose this? Hours of study and contemplation led me to understand that this is not a choice; later even still, this allowed me to reach a point of honesty within myself allowing me to be freely and peaceably me.

The anger that my life (and yes, I do take it personally) stirs up in people puzzles me. Why does it frighten people so? Even if you want to stand firm on the Word of God, as the mother does in the video, why is it this particular topic that is honed in on? I can think of many topics that are mentioned much more frequently and are not nearly as ambiguously interpreted. And also, as this mother exemplifies, actions do speak louder than words, and the preface of I love you, but does not negate mean spirited words and actions.

This will not happen often on this blog, but I leave you with a Scripture to contemplate; I have left it fully intact, so as to not distort the context. Don't skim. Read it slowly, even if you know it well: 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (I Cor. 13)

May we all find our peace and help each other along the way.

Being Me - My Hurdles to Coming Out

There is a certain risk that comes with being ones' self. For me, I weighed my options of coming out for almost a year. I had told one trustworthy friend, three thousand miles away, and I didn't know how to take that next step. I didn't know if I had it in me. I wasn't young; I had settled myself, and happily so, with a single, independent life; my present bliss wasn't even a remote possibility in my mind. Quite honestly, I didn't know if it would be worth the hassle. My family and friends were comfortable with this me, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to rock the boat we were all travelling in.

After hours of reflection, and reading, and thinking, and wondering, and imagining, I knew that I had to come out. Those hours of contemplation covered many topics. Honestly, I had to deal with my pride, and I have to admit that pride was a formidable obstacle in coming out. The ever plaguing question of what will people say? There were some who would see my coming out as a failure. I had to struggle through the acknowledgement that, though these people were no longer in my life for very good reasons, I didn't want to be considered a failure. I broke through this obstacle by honestly evaluating the reasons they were no longer in my life, and I had to come to the conclusion that my peace meant more to me than what they might say about me ever.

Also, even though I’d become okay with who I was, I had to wade through the condemning thoughts still lingering from faulty teachings and misguided information. Just coming to terms with being gay, doesn't silence years of rubbish. I had to break through the obstacle that told me something was wrong with me. You see, I’d already come to the conclusion in my heart that this was who I was, but my head kept replaying all of the illogical arguments that condemned the gay, and I’d heard them for years. 

The third hurdle I had to jump was the fact that it was okay to choose to be happy. I reached a new understanding one day: if the only way I can keep people in my life is by hiding who I really am, then I don’t really want those type of people in my life! I thought of my family; I would never want any of them to hide who they were from me because they thought I would not love them. If my love is that fickle then is it really love?

The choice was clear; I had to come out. I had to come out for me and I had to come out for others who are struggling and scared inside a very lonely closet. I did not know who would stay and who would go in my life, but I had to take the chance. Did it hurt like hell when some decided to walk out of my life? More than you'll ever know, but I've not once regretted the decision. I broke free the day I came out. There is no other way to describe it. Now, when I awake beside this Love I now call home, I realize what I would have missed out on, if I’d made the decision to keep quiet. When I think of the beautiful life that almost wasn't, it motivates to speak out.

Us and us

In preparing for my transfer (to a closer-to-home store) I wanted to make sure that a few of my customers found out from me, personally. I had wondered how many of these pleasant souls were aware of the fact that their presence throughout my day makes all the difference in the world sometimes. All of them are regulars, if not every day, at least four times per week. They stand in front of my bar, with a smile and pleasant tone of voice, as they wait, (and often wait and wait and wait) for me to make their drink. We talk about everything from sick kids to soccer to global warming to international affairs, and they are truly the bright spots in my always busy, often hectic, sometimes downright chaotic, days at work.

I am acutely aware of how these regulars brighten my day, but I guess I often forget that I do the same for them. One customer, who always has a particularly encouraging manner, and who also shares my love of soccer, told me that he had been “bummed out” when I told him I was transferring the day before. Unbeknownst to me, he had had several particularly difficult days over the past few months and he told me that his brief encounters/chats with me as I made his drink had helped him through those days.

What a beautiful reminder. The people I encounter and who encounter me, will most often walk away feeling something no matter how small the encounter. Perhaps it can be neutral, but more often than not, the tone of our days are either brightened or smudged, and in turn, our actions and words either brighten or smudge someone else’s day life.

It has made me think on the ethic of reciprocity. Think of how many belief systems are in this world. (A web search on this topic will completely overwhelm your brain) Most, if not all, have some sort of do unto others clause. Some of my favorite versions:

• All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One." Black Elk (Native American Spirituality)
• The law imprinted on the hearts of all men is to love the members of society as themselves. (Roman Pagan Religion)
• An it harm no one, do what thou wilt. (The Wiccan Rede)
• Whatever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others.  Shayast-na-Shayast 13:29 (Zoroastrianism)
• Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5:18 (Buddhism)
• Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 (Christianity)
• Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.' Doctrine of the Mean 13.3 (Confucianism)
• This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabharata 5:1517 (Hinduism)

We could talk all day about our human failures in this arena, or our personal exception clauses that we tack on for our own convenience, (gay, foreigner, non-believer, etc) but this concept is the essence of a peace-filled world. This is not a religious thing, it is a human thing. Whether we like it or not, we are in this thing together. My mom used to tell us something similar when we would argue as kids. “Whether you like it or not, we’re a family, and we will get along in this house.” It's the same thing on a larger scale. (Except there's no tough mom to make us sit on the couch until we agree to hug each other) If we hurt one another, we are hurting the whole, which in turn is hurting us for we are a part of that whole. We need to get this. We must get this if we are going to survive on this planet together. Recent events in Ferguson, Gaza, Iraq, and everyday Main Street should serve as a mirror for us. We need to look long and hard at who we are becoming. There is no us and them; this is a deceptive illusion. There is only us and...us. 

*This list and many other wonderful topics of discussion can be found at ReligiousTolerance.org.

My Stepping Stone of Buddhism

In talking with a co-worker today, I recalled what a beautiful role Buddhism has played in my journey towards peace. I've come to cherish many of the concepts I've learned within this way of life. It was a refreshing view of the world around me, a way of looking at myself without the tainted lens of guilt and condemnation, and the permission to live in the present moment and just be.

As I first began to acknowledge (to myself) my doubts in God, I found great insight and wisdom in the teachings of Buddhism. I didn't know much about Buddhism, but an incident in my second semester of university led me to begin my investigation. In a World Religions course, my professor mentioned the dates of Buddha's, Siddhārtha Gautama, life (c. 563 - 483 BCE) and a light went off in my brain.

Now, this may seem a no-brainer, but we'd always been taught that all other forms of religion were counterfeit of the one Truth--which we just happened to hold. Counterfeits, by all normal accounts, should come after the original, wouldn't you say? As I pondered those dates, I realized, again, that I needed to investigate another aspect of my belief system and what I'd been taught about other belief systems. And that's exactly what I did. This was the last class of my week and I spent that weekend learning and unlearning many, many things.

As I continue to investigate, I finally stumbled upon the teachings of Pema Chodron. Seeing that my head was still reeling from being out on my ass from the ministry, Pema Chodron's book, When Things Fall Apart, was written for me from start to finish. Within those pages, parts of me began to....awaken, to borrow a Buddhist term. 

"The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” 

As these days of searching continued, I would slowly find myself mustering up the courage to do just that--take a good, hard, terrifying, honest, and gentle look at myself and my beliefs and allow myself to discover who I really was and who I wanted to be. These were such beautiful days; my soul had finally found a path towards peace. These were the words I needed to hear in the moment.

If you should ever want a recommendation, Chodron's book ranks high on my list as does Hahn's Good Citizen. Whatever your spiritual state or belief system, I think you'd find great benefit in both of these. I'll leave you with one last piece of goodness:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy." 

Just breath and let yourself be. Namaste!

Come Thou Fount

Sunday mornings are simply beautiful. I wake up late, I try to cook up a spectacular breakfast, we drink a peaceful cup of coffee, catch up on the news, and we just take....our....time. Our tiny space in New York is situated within a short walk to several churches; throughout the morning we are serenaded by church bells. More often than not, they are hymns that I have known and still believe to be beautiful pieces of music.  Yesterday was no exception; Come Thou Fount filled the neighborhood and I was taken back to my fondness of this particular hymn and the emotions it once stirred within.

During my last few years of ministry, many of these hymns received a modernization, if you will, by many of the popular worship leaders/musicians of that time. Come Thou Fount  received a most beautiful "upgrade" by David Crowder Band. (beautiful in my humble opinion) We played it often on Sunday mornings. Here is a section of the lyrics: (emphasis is mine)

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

Mount of Thy redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it;

Seal it for Thy courts above.

Yesterday, as this tune echoed throughout the neighborhood, I remembered how passionately I once sang this song. In Leaving God; Finding Me, I describe my struggle with doubt--my wandering heart, as it were--and I recalled the desperation within as I sang these lines above. I desired to be fixed. It was a bit of a frantic prayer to a God that I wasn't sure existed. I was convinced that the doubt I carried was some fault of mine. I'd done something wrong. Somewhere along the way I'd missed a key ingredient in my experience, and I just needed to figure out what I was missing in order to stop the constant stream of doubt. Lucky for me, that day never came. 

The Sunday morning church bells remind me just how much my life has changed in ten years. They remind me of the profound peace I now enjoy; they remind me of how happy I am to be honestly and fully me without the constant doubts and striving. My journey towards peace led me out of religion, but others have found their peace while staying in their religion. The important part of this thing called life is this honesty within one's own soul that allows for each journey to be experienced with an air of acceptance and understanding. When we allow each other the room to breath and walk the path within our hearts, we become stronger as a whole. 

A flashback moment -- Vicky Beeching comes out

Vicky Beeching. The name might not sound all that familiar to you, but when I saw her name in my news feed this week, my world paused…in a good way. She was a quick link back to my former days.

While there are many things I do not miss about the religious world, I sometimes miss the music and the worship times if I’m honest. Everyone has their thing that brings them peace and music has always been mine. During worship, I would be carried away, seemingly far from my cares, doubts, and misgivings, and my soul was comforted. Along with my role as youth minister, I spent a large portion of my ministry years on the worship team. I would throw myself into learning every single element of each song and play them with all the passion within on Sunday mornings.

Having placed distance between myself and those experiences, I now feel that it was the musical experience that was my refuge more than the act of worship. I have the same euphoric experience when I listen to The Phantom of the Opera, John Legend, and yes, even Idina Menzel’s Let It Go. (Don’t judge!) I am moved to the depths of my being by certain music and lyrics; I am moved by the raw emotion that lies within some songs.

What does this have to do with Vicky Beeching? In the height of my worship team career, Vicky Beeching was one of the songwriters leading the way out of England. She wrote touching songs about her relationship with God. Her songs held that element of honesty that moves me. In short, she was one of my favs.  This week, she came out publicly with a story that feels so familiar, yet is uniquely hers. She told of humiliating experiences as she tried to rid herself of this unwanted (thanks to rubbish teachings), bouts of self-hatred, and the toll that hiding one’s true self will eventually take on a soul.

I was quite surprised and I can imagine the surprise that is rippling through worship teams at this moment. The dilemma? Beeching penned many of the most popular songs sung in contemporary churches today. Through her lyrics she brought people to a side of God that is loving, forgiving, and kind. She is loved among many of the contemporary worship teams of today, but a portion of these Christians will feel the need to write her off because of her newly exposed life of sin. The boycott buzz is already 'buzzin'. But I see a bright side: another face within the Christian circle that is already known, loved, and respected has come out. With each new face, it becomes harder to justify the unfounded and, quite frankly, worn-out stance against homosexuality. Another soul has stood up to the illogical and misguided teachings within the Church and that soul has said, enough, I am through hiding who I am. She wants to be truly and freely herself as she continues to worship her God.

Bravo and peace to her and to all the other souls who are tired of hiding. Equality makes this a better world for us all.

Here is her story.