I love you, but....

There is a new video that has surfaced showing a young man's conversation with three (I think) of his family members. The young man was apparently wearing a hidden camera of some sort.  It is disturbing, to say the least, and saddening, and sickening. I want to find this young man, hug him tightly, and tell him not to believe that he is a "disgrace," as his father describes him.

Wow. There are so many lgbt sons and daughters who face this type of humiliation and abuse. (For that matter, there are also so many of our sons and daughters around the world that face this type of abuse and this should give us all pause.) If you have the stomach to watch this video, think about the emotional rubbish this young man has had to muddle through on a regular basis. Growing up is a tough act, in my opinion, but add to this the factors that lie behind this video, and it paints a struggle that is beyond words. And this even in a country that boasts a fair amount of tolerance and acceptance (although we have a long way to go); imagine those lgbt youth in countries that still support the death penalty for simply being gay. I cannot. Inexcusable. 

Although I did not come out until I was older, and I have felt the cold shoulders of some who are misguided in their beliefs, I simply cannot imagine feeling this level of rejection from family. Those who are supposed to be there cheering you on in your life, but who suddenly turn on you like a pack of wild dogs. (kind of literally in the case of this video!) Cold shoulders and noses turned up in judgement are nothing compared to the violence and viciousness that face many, far too many, lgbt youth.

Long before I came out, and quite separate from the inner struggle I faced with my own fear of not being straight, a young man once told me that he'd tried everything he could think of to make himself not gay. Coming out, was a last resort, in the truest sense of the word, in an effort to find some sort of peace in his life. He faced hell, humiliation, and rejection. It is this incident that began my investigation of what I'd been taught about homosexuality. (My second stepping stone, as I describe in the book) The turmoil and desperation I saw within these young eyes has stayed with me even to this day. It spurred one simple question that needed an answer. Why would anyone choose this? Hours of study and contemplation led me to understand that this is not a choice; later even still, this allowed me to reach a point of honesty within myself allowing me to be freely and peaceably me.

The anger that my life (and yes, I do take it personally) stirs up in people puzzles me. Why does it frighten people so? Even if you want to stand firm on the Word of God, as the mother does in the video, why is it this particular topic that is honed in on? I can think of many topics that are mentioned much more frequently and are not nearly as ambiguously interpreted. And also, as this mother exemplifies, actions do speak louder than words, and the preface of I love you, but does not negate mean spirited words and actions.

This will not happen often on this blog, but I leave you with a Scripture to contemplate; I have left it fully intact, so as to not distort the context. Don't skim. Read it slowly, even if you know it well: 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (I Cor. 13)

May we all find our peace and help each other along the way.