Us and us

In preparing for my transfer (to a closer-to-home store) I wanted to make sure that a few of my customers found out from me, personally. I had wondered how many of these pleasant souls were aware of the fact that their presence throughout my day makes all the difference in the world sometimes. All of them are regulars, if not every day, at least four times per week. They stand in front of my bar, with a smile and pleasant tone of voice, as they wait, (and often wait and wait and wait) for me to make their drink. We talk about everything from sick kids to soccer to global warming to international affairs, and they are truly the bright spots in my always busy, often hectic, sometimes downright chaotic, days at work.

I am acutely aware of how these regulars brighten my day, but I guess I often forget that I do the same for them. One customer, who always has a particularly encouraging manner, and who also shares my love of soccer, told me that he had been “bummed out” when I told him I was transferring the day before. Unbeknownst to me, he had had several particularly difficult days over the past few months and he told me that his brief encounters/chats with me as I made his drink had helped him through those days.

What a beautiful reminder. The people I encounter and who encounter me, will most often walk away feeling something no matter how small the encounter. Perhaps it can be neutral, but more often than not, the tone of our days are either brightened or smudged, and in turn, our actions and words either brighten or smudge someone else’s day life.

It has made me think on the ethic of reciprocity. Think of how many belief systems are in this world. (A web search on this topic will completely overwhelm your brain) Most, if not all, have some sort of do unto others clause. Some of my favorite versions:

• All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One." Black Elk (Native American Spirituality)
• The law imprinted on the hearts of all men is to love the members of society as themselves. (Roman Pagan Religion)
• An it harm no one, do what thou wilt. (The Wiccan Rede)
• Whatever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others.  Shayast-na-Shayast 13:29 (Zoroastrianism)
• Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5:18 (Buddhism)
• Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 (Christianity)
• Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.' Doctrine of the Mean 13.3 (Confucianism)
• This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabharata 5:1517 (Hinduism)

We could talk all day about our human failures in this arena, or our personal exception clauses that we tack on for our own convenience, (gay, foreigner, non-believer, etc) but this concept is the essence of a peace-filled world. This is not a religious thing, it is a human thing. Whether we like it or not, we are in this thing together. My mom used to tell us something similar when we would argue as kids. “Whether you like it or not, we’re a family, and we will get along in this house.” It's the same thing on a larger scale. (Except there's no tough mom to make us sit on the couch until we agree to hug each other) If we hurt one another, we are hurting the whole, which in turn is hurting us for we are a part of that whole. We need to get this. We must get this if we are going to survive on this planet together. Recent events in Ferguson, Gaza, Iraq, and everyday Main Street should serve as a mirror for us. We need to look long and hard at who we are becoming. There is no us and them; this is a deceptive illusion. There is only us and...us. 

*This list and many other wonderful topics of discussion can be found at ReligiousTolerance.org.