Holiday Difficulties

The holidays are often quite difficult for some LGBT individuals, many of them young, who are distanced from their families.  Although they long to be with these families, the ridicule and judgments make this difficult, miserable, or even impossible. Recently, I wrote the following poem as I pondered some of these stories. To those who are hurting I say: My heart is with you this season; please know that you are not alone. I hope that one day you will be accepted by your family and celebrated for the unique individual you are. Don’t give up; keep up your journey. Love yourself; recognize that they hurt you because they simply don’t understand yet. This is not to justify their actions, there is no justification for such, but it is to let you know that we stand with you. We are cheering you on! May you find your happiness and peace; if you need help, reach out. We will not have all the answers, but we will listen. 

Your Game

The blow you deal strikes hard

Within the deepest point of my soul;

Not a physical blow, but to some, yes,

A blow of pain, scorn, and rejection.

You even mock my reaction to this blow

As if I should feel no pain, offense.

Yet you cry out in the dark of night

As your toe meets the corner of the bed.

Child’s play, comparatively.

Your blow leaves wounds, scars.

No bandage conceals it, no medicine heals it

I taste the pain in each slow breath.

My absence labeled selfish

Yet your contempt is the true culprit.

I would not choose detachment

Home is where I belong.

To pretend I am not me

Is to erase my existence;

I will rise—I will be me

I will not play your game.

Holidays are Here; Roll that Feeling of Magic

I love the holidays; to me personally, they've never really been centered on a religious theme, although I know that's the main gist of Christmas in this country. It has always seemed that the feeling of togetherness hangs a little thicker in the air at this time of year. It's this magical feeling, this collective energy, that makes strangers talk to each other a little more often, acts of kindness a little more frequent, and happy moments seem just a little bit longer than usual. (Yes, I am choosing to completely ignore the Black Friday plague that we've all just lived through--because nothing says magical feeling like trampling people for cheap-ass TVs and clothing, built by practical slave labor on foreign soils. End rant.)

This year, I feel like we could use a little more of this magical feeling than normal, that collective energy is running a bit low; we're not doing so hot in this country right now with the whole togetherness thing, are we? We're divided on so many issues, and that just simply makes me sad. Although we tout with pride that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness," our American way of life doesn't hold up to this profession.

Apparently it isn't as self-evident or unalienable as we'd like to think. We still have a race problem; the ones you hear denying this fact are, for the most part, white, and ironically and single-handedly reinforcing the fact they are so adamantly denying. (For the record, if you begin a sentence with "I'm not racist, but...." you might consider taking a moment or ten of self-reflection on what you are about to say.) LGBT are still not allowed the pursuit of their happiness in many places because of false teachings, misunderstandings, and fear. (It is time we put many of these worn-out objections to rest) Our nation still teeters on the fence concerning issues of religion; we can either be a nation that hold the freedom of and from religion paramount, or we can be a theocracy--but we cannot be both. We must decide.

We still hold great potential as a nation, there is a diversity here that I simply adore. This diversity can be a strength to all of us, but lately, it has been a point of weakness as discriminations, prejudices, and hypocrisies fly in every direction. The choice is ours--it is an individual choice that starts within our daily lives; this magical season is as good as any to start making choices of unity, peace, and togetherness, with justice and liberty for all. One, two, three, go.

Yet it is Still Me

Yet it is Still Me

Those same little hands that got into everything

Are still curious about the world around them.

That innocent smile that worked its way out of trouble

Is even more intense today.

The laughter that exploded with every tickle

Runs more deeply because of pure happiness.

It is still me.

My future that you saw while tucking me in

Was not the path laid out for me.

Husband, wife, children to follow

Happiness seldom arrives in a predefined box.

Although I try to make you proud

I learned that I must make myself proud first.

Yet it is still me.

You wished me happy and kind in life

I awake with a smile on my face.

You prayed for peace and joy

I sleep like a child in a mother’s embrace.

You hoped for a long and prosperous life

My soul lives each day in wonder.

It is still me.

Kristin Casey 2014

--to parents who struggle with their child's coming out. Peace.

--dedicated to my parents who shower my wife with love.