A Guest Post by Me - Don't Run for the Bus

I'll admit it. New York is an odd and ironic spot on the map to have chosen to learn to slow down and simplify, but perhaps, it is precisely such a place that amplifies the unacknowledged mindset of empty busyness within so that it exposes the true need for deliberate action. Such an epicenter of motion and movement often churns up a hurried-ness, even when you are in no particular hurry!

After a few months of living here, I had fallen into the habit of running for the bus or sub. Now, this is not Louisville, where the next bus may or may not come by (or even stop) in the next ten or fifty minutes, this is Queens, New York, for goodness sake. I do not need to run for a bus! I can count the times on one hand that I have had to wait more than ten minutes for any sort of public transportation. Even if I work late and come home at some god-forsaken 3am, I only end up waiting twenty minutes for a bus. Most everyone here runs to catch the bus, sub, or air train. I asked myself one day, why am I running? I did not have an answer. I do not know why others are doing so, but I discovered I had fallen into this mindset without even thinking about it.

It is just as easy to fall into the societal trap of buying things we don't need. We have determined to simplify our life. We knew that we would be downsizing in order to move here. We went from a large two bedroom apartment with separate dining room and five closets (one of which was a huge walk-in) to a studio apartment with two small closets, and a sort-of-separate-alcove-kitchen-space. Although we'd only lived in our Louisville apartment for less than two years, we were surprised at how muchstuff we'd collected. (Just ask mom and pop how much stuff we had since they so graciously let us keep it at the farm while we made our trek north.) We speak of it often now--we love our simplified life.

Slowing down, simplifying, minimizing, all of these come from an awareness that get more, be busier, strive continually, hurry up doesn't equal quality of life. And more often than not, this mindset seems to be the norm in our society, hindering us from having the time to examine our lives and recognize the faulty cycle into which we've fallen. And if we don't take the time to know who we are or where we going, being busy gets us nowhere; we are simply players in the proverbial rat race.

Below are some steps I have implemented, or are in the process of implementing, in order to reach a simpler, less distracted life. Whether or not you choose to simplify your life, give some thought to who you are, where you are going, and your level of happiness in your current state of mind. 

1. Less is indeed more -- this is the common sense stuff of simplifying. Plainly put, get rid of the stuff you don't need. (v. require because it is essential or very important) Each list will be different, but start with the sh*t you're already tripping over, and then just move on from there!

2. Give yourself space -- Just like the piles of treasures junk sitting in your garage, there are often piles and piles of junk cluttering our minds. Not to go all Buddhist on you, but meditation is the best way to clear up some space in your head and make way for creativity and clarity of thought. 

3. Don't jump off the bridge with your friends -- First, thanks, mom. I've become a much happier person as I've made choices that I've actually wanted to make. This includes giving yourself the freedom to say a kind and well-placed NO. Before you commit to something, even if it should sound like fun, make sure it is something you truly want to spend your time doing.  (Thanks for reminding me, wifey!) Don't do things because you think someone will think something about you if you don't. This is no longer middle school, and you have the right to make decisions that lead you to happiness. Many times we make decisions based upon others' opinions simply because we haven't taken the time to get to know us. As I have allowed myself the freedom to figure myself out, a new world of beauty and contentment has opened up for me. 

4. Stop running for the bus -- literally and figuratively. Thich Nhat Hanh says, "Smile, breathe, and slow down." So, Socrates meets Thich Nhat Hanh: Slow down and know thyself. This, in turn, adds to the collective peace of humanity and I think we can all agree that we need more of that!

5. Re-evaluate relationships -- I've recently given up Facebook. Now, don't get me wrong, I was a bit of a Facebook nerd, but having given it up, I realize that I want a more intentional relationship with people. This, undoubtedly, will mean fewer people in my non-Facebook friends list, but this is healthy for me. It has also made me realize that I want those intentional relationships with people who want an intentional relationship with me. I have uncovered a certain degree of OCD/unrealistic-view-of-loyalty when it comes to keeping in touch with people, and I've seen that it has become a true distraction in my ability to simply be present. 

The desired result is a more peaceful, less cluttered, more intentional life for myself and my wifey. With the slow down comes more time spent doing what we love: being together.

First published on eight million plus two