My Journey with Buddhism

I am not a Buddhist, in the average sense of the word, but I cannot deny the crucial role Buddhism has played in my journey towards finding myself. It wasn't an intentional step, but it was an accidental stepping stone that seemed to appear out of nowhere when I needed it the most.

As Christianity was crumbling out from under me, in hindsight, I was frantically looking for something to grasp on to; I felt much like being on the edge of cliff and as the ground beneath me gave way, I was searching the edge of the rocks, as I began to fall, for a branch or something to keep me from falling into the abyss. I was in full-blown panic mode. Ironically, as I got know Buddhism, or better yet, as I got to know myself through Buddhism, I learned the important concept of groundlessness. As Pema Chödrön explains so well, groundlessness is simply becoming okay with life's messiness and relaxing with the ever-shifting, ever-changing aspect of our journey on this earth. As I was able to relax and stay present within these moments, no matter how terrifying or unsettling they felt to me, I stumbled upon a freshness of life that I truly didn't know existed.

Another key concept, that perhaps sounds too simple, was the awakening of compassion towards myself. Simply put, I was learning to become friends with myself. I was wading through loads of confusion, stress, and disappointment; I truly didn't know where to go from here, but I started meditating on these few simple concepts. Through this experience, I learned to love myself and relax. This led to the awakening within that continues to this day. A life-altering experience that I ponder often, but one that I find difficult to put into words.

As a way of life, a mindset, a philosophy, Buddhism has meant the world to me and opened my heart to understand myself and live my journey to the greatest depths. It led me to a peace within when nothing around me seemed peaceful. It awakened a magnificent compassion for myself and for others. Perhaps, I steer clear of calling myself a Buddhist because I so often find myself leery of religious labels these days, but luckily, Buddhism takes no slight from this standpoint. Buddhism encourages a true-ness to oneself that allows me the freedom to breathe, be me, and live this journey for which I am so grateful. As I was grasping for anything to hold on to, I learned that real freedom and peace come from settling into the moment and learning not to grasp.

 When there is great disappointment we don't know if that's the end of the story; it may be just the beginning of a great adventure. 

Pema Chödrön

And if you are interested in an amazing book that I think you will find challenging and encouraging no matter what your viewpoint or background: When Things Fall Apart - Pema Chödrön