Kindness

Let’s face it; we all have people in our lives that are harder to get along than others. And if we really want to be honest, we’ll admit that we might even be those people who are harder to get along with in someone else’s life.  Yes, I find it hard to believe that there might be someone in this world who doesn’t adore my sense of sarcasm or think my worldview is the greatest, but the small chance that there is that someone exists!

But in all honesty, there are times when kindness is difficult. I have been struggling with this in certain arenas of my life lately. I think most of us ultimately want to be kind, but we often struggle due to anger, frustration, or even hurt.

Someone said recently, “I let the other person set the tone; if they're rude, I will not waste my time being nice to them.”  Admittedly, this option is tempting, I've even chosen it in certain situations, but by choosing the reactionary way, we relinquish control over the situation; do we really want the rude, the obnoxious, the inconsiderate to be in control of human interactions?

There are times when I have honestly given it my best shot to change the tone of a situation with an impolite person, but failed. But on the other hand, there are times, when I have responded in calloused, reactionary ways that have left me truly disappointed with myself.

I’ve decided that kindness is not for the weak for it appears to be the more difficult choice.  This week, in one of the above situations, I have repeatedly told myself to err on the side of kindness, if I must err. It has taken quite an effort, and I have failed at times, but I am happier with myself when I aim towards kindness, rather than react to the unkindness of others. With this choice, I have peace of mind and a clearer conscience, which, in turn, deescalates tensions in the atmosphere and lets me go home at night and sleep at ease.

I’ll leave you with the Metta Bhavana; a mantra that I find particularly helpful in situations such as these:

May you be well

May you be happy

May you be peaceful

May you be filled with lovingkindness

***As is my life, this blog is a work in progress; my desire is to facilitate constructive and respectful conversations about life and our collective journey towards peace. It has become an obsession. Please add "your two cents worth" below, and feel free to share this blog. The more the merrier! Understanding ourselves helps us understand others; therefore bringing us one step closer to attaining peace.***

Happy "You Give Motherhood a Good Name" Day

I've been writing this particular post for a long time, probably all my life. The life gifts I've been given by both of my parents would take another lifetime to cover, but today, a day to honor those mothers who give motherhood a good name, I am drastically aware of how much I've been given in this life.

Mornings at the Wimberley household were simply not for the faint of heart---but in a good way. There was no easing into the new day; life hit the ground running. More often than not, I was awakened by my mother's singing as she went about her morning routine. If she wasn't singing, she would be praying for each of us aloud as she did the dishes, or having a conversation with pop as they drank their coffee. The mood was light and cheerful and peaceful; it was an inviting feeling.  

I am grateful to have never awakened in cold chaos or angry words. I cannot comprehend the feelings that must run through children who awake to and live in such an atmosphere. My heart breaks for them. It seems a bit of a taboo subject on such a day, but there are mothers who don't really give motherhood a good name--it's a shame and a concept I don't understand really...bringing children into this world, but then choosing not to cherishing these children for the absolute treasures that they are. Even sadder still, are those who move beyond giving motherhood a bad name and become monsters that cause damage in the lives of the young. 

 
Motherhood is not for the weak, this I know. It takes great amounts of strength, tears, sweat, wisdom, and probably Tylenol. As I look back on my childhood, I am grateful for the honest, compassionate upbringing I was given. My mom has always been a source of security and safety; even when we have not agreed on issues, I have never had to struggle through the feeling of being unloved. She has supported me in times that she could not necessarily agree with or support my decisions. (I am also grateful for the opportunities to fail--and fail I did, just ask me about living in Oklahoma!) While I could not predict my parents' exact response to my late coming out, I knew that they would not withhold their love and support from me as a person, as their daughter, and now I am even more grateful that this love and acceptance is beautifully extended to my wife. Love and acceptance were never bargaining chips in our family--and this made a drastic difference in my confidence level as I sat out to explore the world and myself. May many follow in her footsteps. Peace.

Happy Mom's Day, Mom, you give motherhood a good name!